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Sunday Confessions

31 January, 2016

Apparently everyone thinks it is hilarious that I have a very specific way of eating my M&M’s. Let take a moment to break it down:
  • There must always be an even number of M&M's.
  • They must be eaten in pairs.
  • Preferably, the pairs are matching colors (2 green, 2 blue, 2 red, etc). 
  • If there is an odd number of M&M’s (three green, 1 yellow, 2 orange), the "odd" ones are put to the side and the colors get matched accordingly. Examples of these pairings would be brown & orange, yellow & blue, green & red, green & blue. There are certain colors I try to avoid pairing at all costs, like orange & green or brown & blue.
  • The colors are eaten in a certain order-brown, yellow, orange, red, blue, green (although now that I am looking at it, I’m starting to think it should be brown, orange, red, yellow, blue and green—I may need to try this out and see how it feels).
Confidence is a funny thing. Earlier this week, I was feeling pretty good. I was feeling pretty solid about being at peace with the idea that I spoke my truth, that I took a chance and lived to tell about it. But it only took was one small blip on the radar to make it all come crashing down.

I don’t like having any part of my perceived notion of “self worth” wrapped up in how someone else feels about me. And I’m the first to tell my friends the same thing—no one can or should make you feel less about yourself. But we all know that is easier said than done and I am struggling mightily with that notion right now. It’s hard to feel like you aren’t worth sometimes times, when really I should be asking myself why I would want to spend my time with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with me. It’s an odd cycle that makes absolutely no sense.

Even though the confidence level in myself was pretty low this week, the confidence in who I am and my body was high. Weird, right! I'm not sure any of my photography project photographs are all the great, but I definitely felt a greater sense of freedom behind the lens again, which is always an amazing feeling. 


Sunday Confessions

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