Chronicles of Dating: The Surprises

13 June, 2015

This will indeed be the last installment of this series, at least for awhile.

I'm not exactly sure what I expected when I started this whole thing. I'm not even sure I expected to actually end up meeting anyone. But life has a funny way of taking you places you never anticipated.

Obviously not everything was great. We talked about the duds. We talked about some of the hard lessons I've learned along the way. And just the general confusion that comes along with the whole online thing.

But somewhere along the way it actually started to be fun and not quite so ominous.

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The Invitation // Asking someone out on a date is WAY easier than I thought it would be.

We aren't meant to end up in a relationship (romantic, platonic, whateveric) with everyone we meet. By no fault of our own, sometimes you just don't click with that other person. It's just the nature of the beast. Sure, the rejection of being turned down stings a little, but I asked, he said 'no' and I lived to tell about it!

On the flipside, I also asked a guy out on a date and he said 'yes'. So that's a total win!

Abundant Confidence // This is a wee bit of a carry over from the previous post in this series, but it's true. Even if you aren't "totally feeling it", hitting send at ANY POINT in the process is a huge step. Hell, even just setting up a profile says to the world, "You know what? I am pretty awesome and anyone I come across should be damn lucky to know me!"

True, that can be easier said that done and we're all taught little tricks to make ourselves feel better about being rejected, but when it comes down to it, believing in who you are is really where it is at. I know I'm a good person and if someone else can't see that in me, then I don't need them in my life. No matter how good lookin' they are.

The List // This is the BIG ONE or at least one of the big ones. Let's be honest. We all have one. It's a list of the things we are looking for in a partner. Traits, characteristics, what they like to do, education, job, blah, blah blah.

What happens though when you meet someone who doesn't really fit ANY of what you initially thought you were looking for in a partner?

I always thought my "ideal person" would like the same kinds of things as I did (interest in the same bands, movies, tv shows, a love of travel, hiking, sports dogs--you know the really important stuff) and that we'd figure out the rest from there.

I'm realizing that while I didn't have my priorities all screwed up, I maybe had them in the wrong order. Does he want kids? Does he have his shit together? Is he a decent human being? The rest of it.....meh.....I'll just find someone else to go to a baseball game with as long as he's waiting for me to return home with a smile and a kiss.

Opposites Attract // This kind of could go with the above, but on a more superficial level. For example, it would figure that I meet a guy that I totally dig who.....

  • Doesn't follow sports, at all, to include baseball
  • Isn't really into listening to music
  • Hunts
  • Fishes
  • Smokes and drink (I'm o.k. with the drinking thing, you know, because he brews his own craft beer)
  • Seems to be a little rough around the edges
  • Possibly falls on the opposite spectrum of political values
I mean SERIOUSLY. I love baseball, music is my thing, I'm a vegetarian, uber against smoking (save the lungs!) and tend to be all kinds of liberal in my political views. But you know what. I dig spending time with the guy. He makes me laugh, is easy to talk to and the best thing of all, seems to enjoy spending time with me. 

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The one thing I have learned from this whole thing is to expect the unexpected. You may think you know what you want, but until you're really faced with it, you don't know. And the best way to approach it, whatever "it" may be, is with an open mind. There is a whole world out there waiting for us if we're ready for it.

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