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Chronicles of Dating: Online Dating

06 May, 2015

Did ya'll know Match.com just turned 20?!

Twenty years old! That is crazy.

When you really think about it, online dating isn't that weird of a concept. I mean, so much of our lives have been digitized already, why wouldn't that aspect of it be digital, too?

Over the last few years, I've dipped my toes into the world of meeting someone via the internet more than a few times. I mean seriously. I've met three of my best friends online, two of whom I have been friends with now for move than 10 years. That's saying something.

And lets be honest. It isn't as weird as it seems and there are definitely some pros (and cons) to this whole thing.
  • Pros: It is super convenient. I'm busy, I don't want to do the bar scene, my job can be a bit of a hinderance to meeting someone, I tend to be kind of quiet and reserved until I get to know someone and this helps remove that barrier. 
  • Cons: There are some weird people out there, being online removes a lot of buffers one might have in real life and holy wow are dudes uber sensitive.
I recently switched from one site to another. The previous one, which was all about fishing, was pretty awful. Apparently, this particular site felt I should be matched with fellas in their 50's and there were a lot of profiles photos of guys holding dead animals. But it wasn't all doom and gloom over there but we'll get to that later.

As for the new site, which is based on a delightful Valentines Day mascot, this one has been a little more successful. On the surface the "matches" seem to make a little more sense and there have been a couple of dudes that I've been generally interested in chatting with, which is a big step up from the last site.

Onto navigating the waters of this whole adventure.....

Likes
I never know what this means!

I'll admit that when I hit the Like button on someones profile, 9 times out of 10 it is to bookmark him so I can get a second a opinion from a friend. Possibly unfair, but as we learned in the last installment, one can never be too careful.

The last I checked, a ridiculous number of dudes have "liked" my profile. It figures that one of the more "perfect" of matches is in Pittsburg. How does that even happen?!

Messages
Call me a bit old fashioned (this may be the only time I refer to myself as "old fashioned"), but I'm not one to typically send a message to a dude first. I have and it's worked to my advantage, but just like in real life making the first move is kind of tricky and a foreign concept to me. Mostly because I never know what to say.

Even though I know full well sending that first message can be intimidating, I'm still a wee bit shocked at what some folks deem as appropriate. Most of the messages have simply read "Hi", "Hey there!" or "What's up?". I did get one that said "Hell yeah!" so that's fun. Although, I'm not sure what he was referring to. Needless to say, I've not responded to any of those messages although I am tempted to reply "sup?" sometime just to see what happens.

I am happy to say there have been a few guys who definitely put some thought into their messages, which is always appreciated. It at least shows they made a bit of an effort and paid attention to what I put in my profile, which was not easy to write. And one guy sent me a message that said "Hey!" but quickly followed it up with another message calling himself out for the "lameness" of the first message. He got a message back.

Thus far, things haven't been quite as awkward as I thought they would be. I've actually had some pretty good "conversations" via text/messaging with a couple guys (I'll get into the nitty gritty details next time) and there is one I'm actually leaning towards meeting for coffee.

But what I am finding to be the most interesting thing about this whole thing, is finding out so much more about myself. It's funny how you think you know exactly who you are and what kind of person you want in your life to compliment yourself. But when you really peel back some of the layers, sometimes you learn that what you think you want, really isn't what you want at all.



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