30 May, 2015

Chronicles of Dating: Lessons Learned

I've learned quite a bit since starting this weird adventure. Some of it is good. Some of it is bad. But most of it is worth sharing.

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Insecurities Pt. 1 // I have had to face more insecurities about myself during this whole process than I have doing anything else. And it sucks. Having had two failed first dates isn't exactly making me feel any better about any of this either. I mean I'm funny and smart and witty and charming and just plain awesome! But it is what it is. And I'll just keep plugging along!

Thick Skinned // Talk about having to learn to not take things personally. As in you'll be messaging with a guy and then all of a sudden....poof! They are gone. Just like that. And you also have to remind yourself that some people are just douchebags. You can't take it personally when a dude fires off a whole round of insults because you didn't respond to his messages. That's right. PLURAL. Even after you said "No thank you." Eeeeesh.

Insecurities Pt. 2 // Here's the deal. I'm about to say something that will totally contradict all my "self love", "my body is awesome just the way it is!" posts. But here we go: I'm not entirely comfortable with this "new version" of my outward self. I still see myself as the girl pre-weightloss and she wasn't a girl that drew the attention of many dudes for the right reasons.

Anywho......have ya'll seen the posts (news and blog) about surveys that have been conducted, asking men and women about online dating. And when asked "what is your biggest fear?" about the whole thing, woman respond that don't want to meet a creepy/scary guy and end up raped/murdered and guys don't want to meet a fat chick. Every time I've read them I think, "That is ridiculous! That can't really be the biggest thing guys worry about!"

Oh dear readers. How foolish was I to believe that to not be true. Because, I met one. Seriously. If I would have tried this whole adventure last year, he would have never entertained the idea of us chatting, let alone meeting. Not that it matters. He was a one and done (date) but it's still weird to have literally come face to face with one of my biggest fears of this whole thing.

Complicated // I totally don't understand the politics of this whole thing. When do you exchange phone numbers? How long do you wait to meet someone? Apparently, I am in the minority with not handing my digits out like candy. But I feel like you can never be too careful with that information.

Honesty // We are all adults here. And before meeting the last guy for our date, we were talking about what happens when things don't quite work out like you think they would and maybe you just don't hit it off with the other person. No big deal, you just need to tell them. Don't string them along. Just tell them "I'm not that into you." and then everyone can move on. Right? That's the adult thing to do. But again, I'm apparently the minority in this situation.

Confidence // For all the times I think I don't believe in myself, that fact that I am REPEATEDLY putting myself out there says a little something about myself. Sometimes you just have to keep telling yourself "I'm totally fucking awesome! And someday I'll find someone who I also think is fucking awesome and he will think I am fucking awesome and will be fucking awesome together!" So there.

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Admittedly, the above can be a little discouraging (minus the confidence thing because remember WE ARE ALL FUCKING AWESOME!), but as a friend repeatedly tells me, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince." Not that there was any kissing involved, just a couple of hugs, but you get the point.

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