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Gettin' Back Out There

15 April, 2015

Editors Note: This ended up being stupidly long once it was all said and done, so I've decided to break it up into parts. I mean, OBVIOUSLY it's going to be so interesting that it needs to be a series. Because really, who doesn't want to read disastrous tales of dating mishaps? I know I do!

In this weeks edition of Sunday Confessions, I mentioned that I not only have decided to try my hand at online dating again, but also that I am open to actually being set-up by friends. This isn't something I have agreed to or share lightly.

On one hand, I still see myself as the girl who was wildly unhappy with her life and herself in general. I hid behind an amazing sense of humor and sarcasm because it was just easier than admitting I was miserable. But on the other, over the last 3 or 4 weeks I've managed to start developing a weird and incredibly strong sense of self and confidence in who I am. There are still struggles and those struggles are HARD and I've shared them here, but I'm learning to embrace my confidence.

Have I mentioned it feels a bit weird?

Moving on.

Anywho, I didn't "just decide" to give online dating a whirl, again, on a whim. Oh no. The thought of signing back up for one of the most popular sites again was a bit nauseating.

First there is the whole having to set UP said profile while being witty and intelligent to draw in possible suitors. Apparently just saying "I'm damn awesome!" is inappropriate and falls well below the required character minimum. Then once the profile is all set and ready to go, I end up weeding through all kinds of messages from dudes wanting me to explain why there isn't a picture on my profile. Obviously it's cuz I'm a ninja or more realistically it is because previously, when I did have a photo on my profile some random dude sent me a message letting me know he saw me "hanging out with my friends and it looked like I was having a good time". Ew.

And asking friends to fix me up with their single friends? Well, that's feels even MORE complicated. Especially in my case where I'm one of the last "unmarried ones". There are just a handful of us single folk left in my group o'people and asking one of my married friends to play matchmaker feels like I am putting them in a awkward situation. If they say "he isn't good enough for you", my kneejerk response is "then why are you friends with him!" That and most of their friends are also married and I'm not really interested in being "the other woman". Been there, done that and I'd like to not almost get my ass kicked again.

But none of that tells you, dear reader, how I came to the decision that it was time to try dating, in general, again.

It's because of a random guy I met in the art/paint section of Michael's. Who knew one could potentially find love in a craft store!

Seriously though. That's how this whole ridiculous thing started.

He was standing there, looking like a hipster god (perfectly worn but still new jeans, fisherman sweater, hair pulled back in a slightly messy yet clean man-bun and a newsboy cap), shopping for watercolor paint brushes and I was there picking up a paint-set for a friends daughter. The next thing I knew, he was asking me questions about painting, if I painted, what I painted and what I liked to use for painting all before telling me about his paintings and how he feels like he's in a really good place with his work.

And all the nerves came bubbling to the surface.

Was he just being nice? Did he really care about anything that I was telling him? What he flirting with me?!**

It's when that last question came whipping through my head that I panicked and bolted from the scene. I can only imagine what it looked like as he confusedly said "Good luck with your work!" as  I ran in the opposite direction.

But that uber short, 10 minutes (I'm being really generous with the length of time on that one), made a little something click in my head and got me to thinking......if some random dude at Michael's could possibly want to chat with me, what's to say there isn't someone else out there who wants to chat with me. I know. I know. It's QUITE the leap, but in reality, it's the push I needed to at least explore the possibility.

And exploring the possibility is exactly what I am doing.

Thus far, it's been a strange, strange ride But has also given me a few fun stories. And even a date!

Until the next installment.....

**Additional editors note: upon relaying the details of my interaction with The Painter, friends have decided that he was, indeed, flirting with me and I blew it. Go me!

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