Pages run?

14 December, 2014

I always have a little laugh to myself when people are surprised when I say I run. I do tend to include air quotes around the word run, but I am getting more comfortable in saying that I am, in fact, a runner.

For me, running had always been this strange kind of mythical thing that only a certain "type" of person could do. We've all seen them. They are long, tall and lanky and look like a gazelle gliding across the plains when they run.

I am none of the above.

I'm tall-ish. While I am "all leg", they are not lean and I am the direct opposite of lanky. As for looking like a gazelle gliding across the plains? I look more like a giant turtle lumbering down the road.

All joking aside, after years of starting and stopping for various reasons, I finally started running again this summer. Previous attempts had failed after trying the Couch to 5k program. I would get to the end of week 5, which is "run for 20 minutes" and want to die and then quit. Other times I would attempt to come up with my own training program or I'd just go out and try to run. It just wasn't happening. And each time I "failed", it felt like a bigger failure than just not being able to run.

There is very much a part of me that holds onto failure much longer than I should. I WISH I was one of those people who look at a setback and use it to push themselves to work harder. I generally try to look at things through the eyes of the "eternal optimist" but sometimes, when I perceive that "my best" just "isn't good enough", there isn't enough optimism in the universe to save me.

Post run ninja!
But I am oh so happy to say that has all changed!

It really does feel a bit like a switch was turned on and I am now running. I try and log 3 miles (with only two or three short walk breaks) at a time. Whether it is on the treadmill at the gym or over the hills and through the woods around my hometown.

No matter the setting or location, it feels amazing!

To be able to put on my running shoes, step out the front door or ramping up the treadmill, knowing that 30 to 40 minute block of time will just be about me is pretty awesome.

Gone are the days of feeling like I am moving through quicksand or that my lungs might explode.

Instead, those days are replaced by new ones of being unbelievably proud of myself and feeling a pretty great sense of accomplishment.

So, while I'm still not quite able to run my entire route or session without a walk break or two and I'm not the swiftest runner out there (still pretty dang proud of myself for keeping a pace just over 11'30" per mile even WITH the breaks) all that matters is I am out there running.

And THAT is what makes me a runner. 

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