30 August, 2014

Adventures with D: The Rollercoaster

Again, this past week has been such a ridiculous combination of ups and downs, it makes my head spin to think about it.

I am sure I've mentioned before that I train with D twice a week: one session generally goes pretty well--I feel good, don't feel like I am going to die and am able to complete most exercises with minimal hatred/contempt/dislike towards him while the other session ends in tears. Some weeks it is the first session. Some the second.

This week started off with nothing even remotely close to a bang. In fact, it was downright awful. Lots of tears. Lots of feeling like I was failing at EVERYTHING. And lots of feeling like a burden and he wanted to be anywhere other than training me. It left me feeling defeated, both emotionally and physically. So much so I questioned whether or not I should even continue with training.

Why put myself through the disappointment of not reaching a goal.....again? Why put up with being scolded for "sanding bagging" him when I've done just fine with a certain amount of weight while doing a certain exercise in the past? or Reminded that I still have some things to work on. And that "no, getting up at 5am is not a valid excuse to rework the meal plan".

No matter how much I wanted to tell D at the end of that session to "go taking a flying leap", I didn't. It would have felt good for a bout thirty second. But I didn't want to give up on myself because I (and I am pretty sure HE) was having an off really bad day.

The second session of the week went much better than the first. It's amazing how much better one feels after being able to hit someone something as hard as you can without any repercussion.

D and I had talked about it briefly when we first started training, but this week we finally added boxing. Holy crap it has been FANTASTIC. There is something ridiculously satisfying about hearing the "SNAP" when the glove hits the mitt on target. And getting to do it over and over and over again......brilliant.

Adding boxing has also helped me work out some frustrations I've had with not being able to do some of the other exercises "well enough" (fucking planks). You don't have to be strong to throw a punch or be able to handle a certain amount of weight. You just have to be able to hit a target and THAT I can do.

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